Do Sex Positions Depend on Penis Size?

Any size can work well in the bedroom if you know how to use it, but many men experience performance anxiety around their penis size. There are many psychological factors that play a role in issues like erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation, and having a hold up about size can be one of these factors.   But according to past research studies, about 85 percent of women were satisfies with their partner’s penis size.  So strictly speaking, size really doesn't matter in satisfying your partner.  Men come and all shapes and sizes, and they should own that.  If that pep-talk isn’t enough, then maybe trying different sex positions that work for your size and shape will make you feel more comfortable about what you are packing below the belt.   

For the well-endowed:

Being larger than average can have problems of its own.  Many men think this is the target, but large size can be uncomfortable for your partner so precautions definitely need to be taken that a smaller guy needn’t worry about.  The vagina only measures 3-7 inches so larger men surely need to take this into account. One of the biggest factors is controlling depth and speed as to not hurt your partner.  One solution when figuring out the best position is allowing your partner to be in control. Positions like cowgirl or reverse cowgirl allow her to control both depth and speed, avoiding any painful situations.

For the smaller than average man:

If length isn’t your strong suit, that doesn’t mean sex can’t be fun and satisfying.  As mentioned, the vagina only measures 3-7 inches.  Positions which decrease the size of the vaginal canal are good for smaller men so you can really show off what you are working with.  These include rear entry positions, like doggy style, or missionary positions where the legs are held more tightly together.   These positions also allow for the deepest penetration, and for freedom to play with your hands and increase stimulation elsewhere.

For the average guy:

Just because you fall into the average category, doesn’t mean every position works or feels good.  The biggest advantage in being average is being able to try new positions and see what works best.  Depending on your partner’s vagina, and depending on the specifications of your penis (bendy, thick, thin) you may prefer one move over the next. Experiment with standing positions, different angles and variations of the classics.  Average can get boring so keep mixing it up.

Why it pays off to be a generous lover?

Surely the topic has come up, whether with your partner or with friends about what kind of lover you are. Many times there is a correlation between your personality and the type of lover you are or the types of sexual positions you might prefer. For some there connections are clear, and for others the translation between bedroom and life seems a bit like a coincidental fortune cookie. But how much of this actually holds true? And how does your bedroom decorum affect your relationship and daily life?

A study conducted last year by the University of Toronto found that generous lovers increased overall sexual desire and arousal for their lovers and within their relationship. Their research was published in the journal of Social Psychological and Personality Science, and noted that focusing on the desires of your partner rather than on your own increases arousal for the giver as well. So it seems being generous really does pay off in the end.

Researchers studied what they call “sexual communal strength” in long term couples, what they defined as the willingness to meet a partner’s sexual needs. They had both partners in the relationship fill out daily sex surveys for a total of 3 weeks.  In analyzing the data, they found that four months later, generous lovers reported higher levels of daily arousal as well as more desire for their partner than the less-generous couples.

Generosity has a positive effect in many aspects of life. In general, it feels good to pay it forward and give back to other. Past research suggests that giving to others is good for the self. This study suggests that the positive effects of generosity are even stronger with a sexual partner. Furthermore, there is definitely a boost in overall confidence in being able to satisfy your partner's needs in the bedroom. The key is for both partners to be generous, not just one or the other. Compromise is key in this generosity effect to work as it did in the study described. The exclusion of one partner’s desires won't deliver the same outcome. Make sure you both feel satisfied and accounted for. 

Reasons Masturbation is Good for Us

Sex is beneficial for our health for many reasons, for example it lowers your risk for a heart attack and helps reduce stress levels. But sex doesn’t mean you need to have a sex partner – whether it be sexual intercourse, nocturnal emission, or masturbation, all are beneficial.

One topic that often gets ignored is that of masturbation.  This is because masturbation is a very taboo topic is some cultures, and especially for females carries a strong stigma.  While many people have masturbated, or do regularly, most don’t discuss it openly. But exploring your own body is not only about self-pleasure, but about utilizing what you learn alone to help you have more fun with a partner.   

We are here to get the topic of masturbation, which is nothing to be embarrassed of, out in the open and onto the symbolic table for discussion.  We’ll give you some fun facts and interesting information that we are sure you probably didn’t know about masturbation.  Keep in mind: masturbation isn’t just for guys. Let’s take a look:

·       The vibrator has its roots in medicine! The vibrator was invented by a doctor as a cure for the mental illness hysteria.  It was invented as a tool so that doctors would not need to use their hands on patients. 

·       We are not the only species who masturbates!  Masturbation is not an exclusively human action, but other species in the animal kingdom do too.  This list includes apes, horses, and birds. It’s perfectly natural.

·       Masturbation makes you happy! Just as sex with a partner releases tons of feel good hormones, so does masturbation.  Not only does it help you to get in tune with your body, but also helps you reap some great mental and physical benefits.  These include feelings of joy, pleasure, stress relief, relaxation and mental clarity.

·       Masturbation is a pain reliever! Self-pleasure and climax can have all sorts of effects on the body.  It has often been reported to relieve the pain of headaches and menstrual cramps, likely owing to this release of hormones as well as the boost in blood circulation.

 ·       There’s more than one type of orgasm!  Well, there are 3 to be exact, in women at least.  The three types of female orgasms are clitoral, vaginal and a combination of both.

 ·       Some sex toys are illegal!  Making sex toys that resemble the penis are actually illegal in Japan.   Because of this, vibrators that did not resemble male genitalia were invented.

·       Masturbation is good for endurance! For men, masturbation can be beneficial in that the self-stimulation allows them to control their body and improve upon their sexual endurance.  What man doesn’t want that? 

Best Sex Toys for Men

Sex toys have often been associated with solo play, or masturbation, when a partner is not available for one reason or another. But for many couples where one partner owns a sex toy, it has become commonplace for those sex toys to find their way into the bedroom and into the sexual interaction. Many find toys as a new and exciting sexual adventure with their partners, and a way to keep things interesting. To be sure there are a great many items on the market these days, and not just for women. Here are some ideas (mostly for him), for toys to add some spice to your sex life whether with a partner or alone.

1. A pulsator: it's called a pulsatior because this toy goes back and forth, instead of side to side. So technically speaking, it's not actually a vibrator. This unique back and forth motion means it mimics the sensation of sex, similar to thrusting.
2. Remote controlled vibrations: if you've ever asked the question, then someone has surely answered with "there's an app for that!"  The same holds true with sex toys. One of how latest trends in sexual pleasure is called “teledildonics”. This is a group of electronic sex toys that can be controlled by phone, and work in conjunction with an app that can be used to control the vibrator from across the room or across the world. This is something great for keeping connected as a long-distance couple, but of course can be used alone.
3. Penile stimulator: this toy typically looks like a vacuum cleaner (sorry, but it does), but stimulates the often ignored glands of the penis.  The toy fits snugly over just the head of the penis and vibrates in adjustable patterns and speeds.  It can be used as a tool in masturbation or with a partner during non-penetrative sex, for a new kind of hand job.
4. Glass Dildo: this toy is intended for rectal use and made from high quality, handmade glass. Because it is glass, it can be used with any type of lubricant, allowing for a lot of variation. An added benefit of a glass dildo is the option for temperature play. It can be put in warm water for a warming sensation, or in the fridge for a cooler sensation.
5. Stainless steel dildo: Similar to a glass dildo, stainless steel is perfect for temperature play.  It can be used vaginally or anally, and either partner can derive pleasure from its use.
6. G-Spot stimulator : Perfect for couples who have trouble finding or stimulating the g-spot. This can help men and women experience more intense sexual sensations and open themselves to sexual exploration.  Just to note, there are male and female specific g-spot stimulators that are designed for the curves of each.
7. Vibrating Rings: Vibrating penile rings are a pretty run of the mill, grab bag type of sex toy.  But that doesn’t mean it can't  be fun.  It is best to find something that is silicon, durable and stays in place.  Some more advanced models offer different levels of intensity and patterns. This toy is great for couples play, as it can be worn around the penis or used for clitoral stimulation.

Sex Positions Women Want More

                  Part of a healthy relationship is a healthy sexual relationship.  This means opening up about your sexual desires, trusting your partner, feeling safe, and trying new things.  It can be easy, especially in long term relationships to stick to what works, especially in the bedroom.  But the old and tried methods are just that, old and tried.  You may think she is only interested in missionary, but if you are bored of it then chances are she is too.  And what’s the point of sex if one, or both partners are being left unsatisfied, or bored?  A boring sex life can lead to other, more stressful relationship issues.  To reinvigorate the relationship and the sexual connection within a partnership sometimes taking a little risk and being adventurous can really pay off.  Not sure where to start? Here are some positions to try that you may not know your lady is craving:

1. The ‘Face-Off’ Position:

You sits on a chair or the edge of the bed, while she faces you seated on your lap.  This position is sure to turn her on because she is in total control of the pace and depth of the sex.  This also gives you the intimacy of being able to look at one another and touch her, all over.

2. The ‘G-Whiz’ Position:

 This position works by the woman lying on her back with her legs resting on each of his shoulders.  Having the legs raised narrows the vagina, and makes it easier for you to hit her G-Spot, making for an extra stimulation position for both of you.

3. The ‘Upstanding Citizen’ Position:

Not for the weak in the knees, this position required you to stand and support you lady with your arms while she straddles you and wraps her legs around your body.  This position showcases a man’s strength and is sure to fulfill any woman’s fantasies.

4. The ‘Flatiron’ Position:  

This position can be thought of as a sort of reverse missionary.  Both you and your partner lie face down (she is on the bottom) with legs straight and hips slightly raised to fit snuggly into each other.  The benefit is a narrower fit, where you definitely feel like the king of your castle.

5. The ‘Stand and Deliver’ Position:

This position requires both of you to be standing, with your partner facing away from you.  The key to this is having your lady bed at the waist.  Bending at the waist tightens her vaginal walls and increases the intensity of the friction, creating extra pleasure. 

Delayed Ejaculation

As many as 50 million men in the US and Europe suffer from erectile dysfunction.  Most men who report erectile dysfunction are referring to the classic definition of impotence, or the inability to get or keep an erection firm enough for sexual intercourse.  This definition, however, is not inclusive of the variation of erectile dysfunction that exists.  Aside from the inability to get or maintain an erection, premature ejaculation and delayed ejaculation are also possible forms of erectile dysfunction.

Delayed ejaculation is a sexual dysfunction condition where it takes a man a prolonged period of sexual stimulation in order to ejaculate.  This condition usually means that a man needs more than 30 minutes of sexual stimulation to reach climax.  Some men with this condition are unable to ejaculate at all.  This is not necessarily a condition that affects men chronically, although it can.  Most men who experience delayed, or impaired ejaculation, only experience it occasionally.  This can occur only in specific situations or with certain partners.

There are plenty of risk factors for erectile dysfunction, like lifestyle habits like smoking, drug/medication use, nicotine and alcohol use.  For others mental health, neurological, or neurophysiological disorders are the problem. These include depression, stress, stroke, spinal cord injury, multiple sclerosis, dementia, or neurologic disease. In a smaller subset of men hormonal abnormalities, or depleted testosterone levels are the cause. 

For delayed ejaculation, the cause might be a worsening health issue like diabetes or heart disease.  Here is a list of some common physical causes of the sexual impairment:

·       damage to the pelvic nerves

·       heart disease

·       infections, especially prostate or urinary tract infections

·       neuropathy or stroke

·       low thyroid hormone

·       low testosterone

Lifestyle habits like drug use is definitely linked to delayed ejaculation as well.  For example, habitual cocaine use may make you less able to finish what you start. Chronic cocaine use can impair sexual function in men by causing delayed or impaired ejaculation.  Furthermore, cocaine is a vasoconstrictor, meaning that it causes blood vessels to constrict, and blood vessels in the penis need to be dilated in order for an erection to occur.

If you have had a traumatic experience related to sex, then the anxiety or stress that comes from this negative perception of sex can result in delayed ejaculation.  Furthermore, like other types of sexual dysfunction, stress within a relationship, feelings of anger, or sexual disappointment can also result in delayed ejaculation.  Unfortunately the condition itself can cause anxiety and depression, resulting in worsening symptoms.

Navigating Premature Ejaculation

Premature ejaculation is one of the most common sexual problem facing men under 40.  It is estimated that one third of American men suffer from premature ejaculation, which according to the medical definition is a recurrent pattern of ejaculation that occurs within one minute of vaginal sex.  There are a wide array of causes, and premature ejaculation doesn't necessarily come from a physical insufficiency as some men might think.  There are physical factors of course, such as penile hypersensitivity, medication side effects, low levels of serotonin, and nerve conditions. But emotional causes like performance anxiety, guilt, relationship issues, and substance abuse can also play a major role.

Treatments for premature ejaculation vary in their effectiveness for sufferers. As mentioned, there are both physical and emotional causes of this condition, and as such a significant amount of cases can be helped through simple changes or therapies.  These therapies focus primarily on improving muscle tone, encouraging meditation, and the use small tricks to delay ejaculation. Let’s take a look at some common therapeutic methods for premature ejaculation:

Kegel Exercises:  These pelvic strengthening exercises can help control ejaculation, because Kegels strengthen what is known as the pubococcygeus muscle.  The pubococcygeus muscle is responsible for tightening the pelvic muscle that stops and starts urine flow.  As urine flow and ejaculation are both occurring through the urethra, clenching and control of this muscle can help with climax control.

The Stop-and-Start Method / Squeeze Method: Starting sexual activity and then stopping before orgasm can help extend the time it takes to ejaculation.  The act of building up and the taking a break and relaxing, then starting over can help avoid premature ejaculation and extend the overall sexual experienced with your partner.  The squeeze method is similar, in that a man gets aroused to the point of climax, but stops immediately before ejaculation. Pressure is put on the frenulum, squeezing the penis, until the feeling of ejaculation diminishes.

Benzocaine Condoms/ Promescent: Benzocaine condoms or climax-control condoms are on the market for the specific reason to delay ejaculation.   These condoms have benzocaine, a mild anesthetic, in the tip.  What this does is create a numbing effect to decrease the intense sensation of sex, and make controlling climax more manageable. Similarly, Promescent is a topical medication recently approved by the FDA to treat premature ejaculation.   It is applied to the penis up to 10 minutes before sex, and like the benzocaine condoms, desensitizes the penis.  Promescent is absorbed through the skin, where the nerve endings that control ejaculation are located.

Deep Meditative breathing: Breathing deeply is one of the simplest forms of meditative practice.  The sheer act of deep breathing can help control arousal, and sexual tension that will lead to an early climax.  Alternatively, shallow and short breathing (the kind that sounds like rigorous exercise) can increase the heart rate.  For some men this increase in heart rate can trigger climax and ejaculation.  Long, deep breaths and slowing down the heart rate can be beneficial in extending the length of time between start and finish. 

Tips to Increase Sex Drive and Have Better Sex

 

1.     Stop Smoking:

a.     Smoking can cause blood vessels to narrow, which can have a detrimental effect on blood flow to sex organs.

b.      Smoking also diminishes your stamina, limiting the amount of rigorous activity one can handle.

2.     Lose Weight:

a.     Being overweight can impact sexual desire, sex drive and performance. 

b.     This is because being overweight can reduce blood flow and lower testosterone levels.

c.     High cholesterol and type 2 diabetes, can both can cause penile arteries to shut down when arteries get clogged with fat deposits. 

d.     Erectile dysfunction leads to decreased sexual desire and libido.

3.     Hit the Gym:

a.     Moderate regular exercise has been shown to help improve blood flow to the sexual organs. 

b.     Exercises focused on thighs, buttocks and pelvis are especially good for genital circulation. 

4.     Try some sex drive boosting foods:

a.     Foods like those high in zinc, like oysters, can increase sperm production and testosterone.  (the hormone responsible for sex drive)

b.      Other foods like, flaxseeds, sardines, and nuts help to increase testosterone production and increase libido because they are high in essential fatty acids.

5.     Give herbal supplements a try

a.     Herbal remedies like tea or supplements can have a positive effect on sexual desire and even orgasm.

b.      Try ginko biloba derivatives a try, known to improve circulation and enhancing sex.