Is it ok to watch porn with your partner?

When we think of porn, we mostly think about the damage it can do to our relationships, not the potential benefits. The topic of many a relationship therapy session has surely been porn. Historically, psychological studies have pointed towards porn as a cause of addiction, and also of erectile dysfunction or performance issues during physical encounters with a partner. Watching sexual films, contrary to popular belief, may actually help sexual arousal. Traditionally, porn has been deemed as bad for your sex life because clinicians often claim that men get desensitized by watching these films. This then spills over to issues with your partner. The claim goes that watching porn desensitizes the “watcher”, making normal sexual situations fall flat when it comes to getting excited.  But according to recent research, watching porn regularly actually increased arousal in study participants.  So let’s put this myth to rest because it might not be such a bad thing to incorporate in the bedroom.  Sex is the glue that keeps many relationships together, so finding new ways to play and keep that spark alive is definitely a worthwhile venture.  

Here are some reasons that porn can actually be good for your relationship:

·       It’s a new experience: Any time a couple can do something new together and share an experience, especially a sexual one, they are   a hobby, or even better, a sexual experience, they are devoting time and effort into their relationship.  Sharing new sexual experiences helps you connect deeper sexually. If you plan on watching porn anyway, why not watch with your significant other?

·       It's an easy way to share your sexual desires: A big part of sex is communication with your partner, but some people are very shy about speaking up about what they want in the bedroom. Sharing desires and trying new things with your partner can open up an entire new avenue of pleasure, and the internet has plenty of videos and ideas to choose from.  Your partner may not realize certain things would fulfill you sexually if you never let him/her know. 

·       It can heighten foreplay:  People are typically in a rush to get things done, and sex, especially if you have young children or an insanely busy schedule might need to be cut short.  Watching porn clips can get both men and women aroused in a matter of seconds, and help them reach climax much quicker than usual. 

·       It may keep partners faithful:  Sexual needs and fantasies should be met with your partner if you are in a monogamous relationship.  But if partners feel unsatisfied or like they aren’t in a safe place to share and fulfill their sexual desires, they may feel the need to stray.  Giving your partner permission to watch porn, or watch together, can help promote honesty and openness within a relationship.  They will be more inclined to share and ask you to participate than keep fantasies hidden.