Do Sex Positions Depend on Penis Size?

Any size can work well in the bedroom if you know how to use it, but many men experience performance anxiety around their penis size. There are many psychological factors that play a role in issues like erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation, and having a hold up about size can be one of these factors.   But according to past research studies, about 85 percent of women were satisfies with their partner’s penis size.  So strictly speaking, size really doesn't matter in satisfying your partner.  Men come and all shapes and sizes, and they should own that.  If that pep-talk isn’t enough, then maybe trying different sex positions that work for your size and shape will make you feel more comfortable about what you are packing below the belt.   

For the well-endowed:

Being larger than average can have problems of its own.  Many men think this is the target, but large size can be uncomfortable for your partner so precautions definitely need to be taken that a smaller guy needn’t worry about.  The vagina only measures 3-7 inches so larger men surely need to take this into account. One of the biggest factors is controlling depth and speed as to not hurt your partner.  One solution when figuring out the best position is allowing your partner to be in control. Positions like cowgirl or reverse cowgirl allow her to control both depth and speed, avoiding any painful situations.

For the smaller than average man:

If length isn’t your strong suit, that doesn’t mean sex can’t be fun and satisfying.  As mentioned, the vagina only measures 3-7 inches.  Positions which decrease the size of the vaginal canal are good for smaller men so you can really show off what you are working with.  These include rear entry positions, like doggy style, or missionary positions where the legs are held more tightly together.   These positions also allow for the deepest penetration, and for freedom to play with your hands and increase stimulation elsewhere.

For the average guy:

Just because you fall into the average category, doesn’t mean every position works or feels good.  The biggest advantage in being average is being able to try new positions and see what works best.  Depending on your partner’s vagina, and depending on the specifications of your penis (bendy, thick, thin) you may prefer one move over the next. Experiment with standing positions, different angles and variations of the classics.  Average can get boring so keep mixing it up.

Reasons Masturbation is Good for Us

Sex is beneficial for our health for many reasons, for example it lowers your risk for a heart attack and helps reduce stress levels. But sex doesn’t mean you need to have a sex partner – whether it be sexual intercourse, nocturnal emission, or masturbation, all are beneficial.

One topic that often gets ignored is that of masturbation.  This is because masturbation is a very taboo topic is some cultures, and especially for females carries a strong stigma.  While many people have masturbated, or do regularly, most don’t discuss it openly. But exploring your own body is not only about self-pleasure, but about utilizing what you learn alone to help you have more fun with a partner.   

We are here to get the topic of masturbation, which is nothing to be embarrassed of, out in the open and onto the symbolic table for discussion.  We’ll give you some fun facts and interesting information that we are sure you probably didn’t know about masturbation.  Keep in mind: masturbation isn’t just for guys. Let’s take a look:

·       The vibrator has its roots in medicine! The vibrator was invented by a doctor as a cure for the mental illness hysteria.  It was invented as a tool so that doctors would not need to use their hands on patients. 

·       We are not the only species who masturbates!  Masturbation is not an exclusively human action, but other species in the animal kingdom do too.  This list includes apes, horses, and birds. It’s perfectly natural.

·       Masturbation makes you happy! Just as sex with a partner releases tons of feel good hormones, so does masturbation.  Not only does it help you to get in tune with your body, but also helps you reap some great mental and physical benefits.  These include feelings of joy, pleasure, stress relief, relaxation and mental clarity.

·       Masturbation is a pain reliever! Self-pleasure and climax can have all sorts of effects on the body.  It has often been reported to relieve the pain of headaches and menstrual cramps, likely owing to this release of hormones as well as the boost in blood circulation.

 ·       There’s more than one type of orgasm!  Well, there are 3 to be exact, in women at least.  The three types of female orgasms are clitoral, vaginal and a combination of both.

 ·       Some sex toys are illegal!  Making sex toys that resemble the penis are actually illegal in Japan.   Because of this, vibrators that did not resemble male genitalia were invented.

·       Masturbation is good for endurance! For men, masturbation can be beneficial in that the self-stimulation allows them to control their body and improve upon their sexual endurance.  What man doesn’t want that? 

Navigating Premature Ejaculation

Premature ejaculation is one of the most common sexual problem facing men under 40.  It is estimated that one third of American men suffer from premature ejaculation, which according to the medical definition is a recurrent pattern of ejaculation that occurs within one minute of vaginal sex.  There are a wide array of causes, and premature ejaculation doesn't necessarily come from a physical insufficiency as some men might think.  There are physical factors of course, such as penile hypersensitivity, medication side effects, low levels of serotonin, and nerve conditions. But emotional causes like performance anxiety, guilt, relationship issues, and substance abuse can also play a major role.

Treatments for premature ejaculation vary in their effectiveness for sufferers. As mentioned, there are both physical and emotional causes of this condition, and as such a significant amount of cases can be helped through simple changes or therapies.  These therapies focus primarily on improving muscle tone, encouraging meditation, and the use small tricks to delay ejaculation. Let’s take a look at some common therapeutic methods for premature ejaculation:

Kegel Exercises:  These pelvic strengthening exercises can help control ejaculation, because Kegels strengthen what is known as the pubococcygeus muscle.  The pubococcygeus muscle is responsible for tightening the pelvic muscle that stops and starts urine flow.  As urine flow and ejaculation are both occurring through the urethra, clenching and control of this muscle can help with climax control.

The Stop-and-Start Method / Squeeze Method: Starting sexual activity and then stopping before orgasm can help extend the time it takes to ejaculation.  The act of building up and the taking a break and relaxing, then starting over can help avoid premature ejaculation and extend the overall sexual experienced with your partner.  The squeeze method is similar, in that a man gets aroused to the point of climax, but stops immediately before ejaculation. Pressure is put on the frenulum, squeezing the penis, until the feeling of ejaculation diminishes.

Benzocaine Condoms/ Promescent: Benzocaine condoms or climax-control condoms are on the market for the specific reason to delay ejaculation.   These condoms have benzocaine, a mild anesthetic, in the tip.  What this does is create a numbing effect to decrease the intense sensation of sex, and make controlling climax more manageable. Similarly, Promescent is a topical medication recently approved by the FDA to treat premature ejaculation.   It is applied to the penis up to 10 minutes before sex, and like the benzocaine condoms, desensitizes the penis.  Promescent is absorbed through the skin, where the nerve endings that control ejaculation are located.

Deep Meditative breathing: Breathing deeply is one of the simplest forms of meditative practice.  The sheer act of deep breathing can help control arousal, and sexual tension that will lead to an early climax.  Alternatively, shallow and short breathing (the kind that sounds like rigorous exercise) can increase the heart rate.  For some men this increase in heart rate can trigger climax and ejaculation.  Long, deep breaths and slowing down the heart rate can be beneficial in extending the length of time between start and finish. 

Tips to Increase Sex Drive and Have Better Sex

 

1.     Stop Smoking:

a.     Smoking can cause blood vessels to narrow, which can have a detrimental effect on blood flow to sex organs.

b.      Smoking also diminishes your stamina, limiting the amount of rigorous activity one can handle.

2.     Lose Weight:

a.     Being overweight can impact sexual desire, sex drive and performance. 

b.     This is because being overweight can reduce blood flow and lower testosterone levels.

c.     High cholesterol and type 2 diabetes, can both can cause penile arteries to shut down when arteries get clogged with fat deposits. 

d.     Erectile dysfunction leads to decreased sexual desire and libido.

3.     Hit the Gym:

a.     Moderate regular exercise has been shown to help improve blood flow to the sexual organs. 

b.     Exercises focused on thighs, buttocks and pelvis are especially good for genital circulation. 

4.     Try some sex drive boosting foods:

a.     Foods like those high in zinc, like oysters, can increase sperm production and testosterone.  (the hormone responsible for sex drive)

b.      Other foods like, flaxseeds, sardines, and nuts help to increase testosterone production and increase libido because they are high in essential fatty acids.

5.     Give herbal supplements a try

a.     Herbal remedies like tea or supplements can have a positive effect on sexual desire and even orgasm.

b.      Try ginko biloba derivatives a try, known to improve circulation and enhancing sex.

What's Porn Got To Do With It?

The topic of many a relationship therapy session has surely been porn.  More specifically, how porn may be ruining relationships. Historically, psychological studies have pointed towards porn as a cause of addiction, and also of erectile dysfunction or performance issues during physical encounters with a partner. Similarly, many clinicians claim that watching porn desensitizes the “watcher”, making normal sexual situations fall flat when it comes to getting excited.Investigators of this study, however, say that according to their findings, porn is not the problem.  In fact, watching porn regularly actually increased arousal in study participants.

A new study out of UCLA and Concordia University, tested the relationship between watching porn and erectile function.  This is the first study to analyze this relationship directly, not just draw conclusions regarding the “evils” of film erotica.  Research illustrated that watching sexual films is not likely to cause issues with erectile function, in fact and may even help sexual arousal. The study published online in the journal Sexual Medicine, gives stock to the claim that porn is not all bad.  The study investigators say that this is important because “because clinicians often claim that men get desensitized by watching these films”, and they want to put this myth to rest.  Interestingly, the study found that there is no relationship between watching porn and erectile dysfunction in men who are actively having sex. 

This study illustrates the need to treat sexual dysfunction in men with the ammunition afforded to us as clinicians.  Rather than point to porn as the cause of bedroom issues, finding out the true reason for the dysfunction will aid in its treatment. 

Erectile dysfunction is most likely caused by issues such as performance anxiety, poor heart health, or side-effects from drug use.  There are many treatments from psychotherapy to medications to pumps to surgical implants that can help bridge the gap in the bedroom, without using porn as a scapegoat.