When Sex Becomes Painful

Can there be anything more frustrating than painful sex? Seems more than a little unfair that Nature primes us for the ultimate pleasurable act only to confound us hurtfully when it comes time to deliver.

Here are a few of the painful sex speed bumps with some ideas on how to route around them.

You flinch when you are about to do something you intuitively know will hurt, or has hurt you before. When you flinch with your vagina it is known as “vaginal clenching.” A woman who has experienced painful sex previously unconsciously squeezes her vaginal muscles, contracting the space available for penile entry, and thereby causing intercourse to hurt even more. Talk to your gynecologist about a treatment known as “woman’s health physical therapy.” It is a way of alleviating pelvic floor muscle tension, in-coordination and weakness.

Unlike being too rich or too thin, there really is such a thing as being too well-endowed. Men who fall into this category actually can be a source of pain to women. Women whose partner is a bit much to handle comfortably are advised to make an appointment with a sex therapist who is skilled in educating you both regarding the best positions and rhythms to alleviate the discomfort.

Occasionally a woman will need a little help with their lubrication, or her timing. Under normal and natural circumstances, her vagina, clitoris and labia will swell upon arousal and anticipation of the sex act to come. If, however, she has experienced painful sex before and is fearful – or for a host other reasons – she may be physically unprepared and so the act ends up being painful. Short term, be prepared to use lubrication during foreplay and intercourse to overcome the dryness. Long term, seek the advice of a gynecologist.

Sometimes sex gets painful just as a matter of nature. During menopause, a woman's estrogen levels diminish and her vulvar and vaginal tissue becomes thinner and less lubricated. Also, later in life a woman may be a bit “out of practice” when it comes to sex, and infrequent sexual intercourse can cause vaginal atrophy. Your gynecologist may be able to help again, this time through a course of hormone replacement or applications of vaginal estrogen cream.

A condition known as “vaginismus” may result in a woman having an impenetrable vagina. It is caused most commonly by anxiety, and extends beyond sexual encounters. A woman suffering from this will often have had trouble using tampons or taking some gynecological exams.