Women’s orgasms influenced by communication and sexual self-esteem

Decades of research have diligently sought to unlock the mystery of what it takes to help women reach orgasm. A Finnish study published back in 2016, did provide valuable clues more specific in regards to the interaction with their partner and a woman’s attitudes towards sex. Scientists with the research interviewed over 10,000 women by having them take a sexual survey over four decades starting in the early 1970s.

Important and relevant information was gathered from this study that especially highlighted the role of a woman’s partner, communication between them and on what level a woman’s sexual self-esteem fell. Other factors looked at were things that inhibit orgasm and the frequency of multiple orgasms.

Role of the partner

One of the main issues women have expressed over the years when it comes to sexual satisfaction or lack thereof is the hesitancy of feeling inhibited on communicating what they want in bed.  The role of honest communication between a woman and her partner in what she likes during lovemaking is crucial for women’s orgasms as well as sexual technique. When couples are capable of expressing their desires of what feels good or what doesn’t, there is a much higher likelihood of finding ways to bring mutual pleasure between them both.

Oral sex has been found to be the primary way most women reach orgasm. When a woman’s genitals are touched manually or orally, this provides more direct stimulation than intercourse. That doesn’t mean vaginal intercourse is less important or pleasurable, but rather a reminder that there are many pathways women can take to achieve orgasm.

Women with low sexual desire were also found to more likely reach orgasm when given oral sex. Women who have difficulty talking about sex with their partner, also are more apt to reach climax through oral sex, but many of them are reluctant to ask their partner for oral sex.

Sexual self-esteem

Unsurprisingly, the study found that women who feel confident about their abilities in the bedroom and have high sexual self-esteem, tended to have orgasms more frequently. If a woman has few if any dissatisfaction with her body and is able to focus solely on the sexual activity with no distractions, she is more likely to achieve orgasm.

One result from the survey was that only 10% of women who did not think they were good in bed had an orgasm at their last intercourse. This is when it was found that good communication between couples compensated for low sexual self-esteem, helping to reach orgasm.

Factors inhibiting orgasm

A big part of what helps women reach orgasm is being to be fully present in the moment. Women who are distracted, stressed out, or feeling fatigued, are less likely to reach orgasm.

Here are other factors that can inhibit a woman from having an orgasm:

·      Having a partner who is not skilled in the bedroom

·      Having a partner who goes “too fast” or doesn’t take time to help a woman get in the mood

·      Feeling that sex was not important for the relationship

·      Lack of physical intimacy in the relationship

·      Lack of sexual desire

·      Lack of oral sex or manual stimulation

·      Vaginal dryness, painful intercourse

·      Early orgasm of partner, short duration of intercourse

·      Unhappy relationship with their partner

·      Feeling sexually undesirable

·      Partner’s erection problem

·      Illness

Women and multiple orgasms

When it comes to orgasms in the bedroom, all’s not fair in love and sex.  Even though women usually need more time to become sexually aroused than men, they possess a special advantage – multiple orgasms. Men need time to “recover” from orgasm, but women have the power to enjoy multiple orgasms without limitations.

In the study survey, it was found that 12% of women stated they had two or more orgasms the last time they had intercourse. Some of these women who were able to achieve this feat said they frequently used sex toys and that their sexual activities lasted over an hour.

Multiple orgasms occur when a woman has more than one orgasm during a sexual experience with her partner. Women who are multi-orgasmic tend to display strong sexual interest and are sexually very active.

The main takeaway from this research is that every woman is different and what works for one woman may not for another. A woman’s climax is highly personal with strong influences from internal and external stimulation, along with physical and emotional factors that play a role.

Any woman who is experiencing painful intercourse, difficulty in communication with her partner or is having relationship issues or is having trouble accepting her body, may need additional help from a doctor or sex therapist.