When to see a sex therapist

If trouble is brewing in the bedroom, it may be time to see a sexpert – a sex therapist. Maybe not for every couple but if you find the right one, significant gains in sexual function and satisfaction is well worth the effort.

Most likely few couples announce they have been to or are going to see a sex therapist.  Aspects of sexuality are for the most part, still taboo to talk about and few if any couples are willing to discuss candidly problems in sexual functioning, satisfaction, or knowledge with their family or friends.

Another aspect of sexuality couples may find difficult to come to terms with is admitting they need help with their sexual relationship.  Sexuality is a vital part of our lives and overall well-being.  It affects our mood, physical health and sense of self-esteem.  When trouble is brewing in the bedroom, one of the most rewarding and enriching experiences for many couples is to seek help and advice from a sex therapist.

First, almost all couples could benefit from seeing a professional trained in counseling individuals or couples in psychological or physical sexual problems.  Everyone has sexual problems at some point in their relationship.  It can begin early in a couple’s married life. Making adjustments to sexual issues as newlyweds, couples with young children who are exhausted with little desire for sex, or older couples struggling with bodily changes such as menopause, erectile dysfunction or medical conditions, all of these situations can affect a couple’s sex life.

Hesitation of seeing a sex therapist is not unusual.  Again, very few if any couple openly admits if they have been to one. Setting up an appointment with a sex therapist can feel rather new-age or exotic but it very well could be the answer to getting your sex lives back on track. 

Sex therapy simply involves helping couples talk about sex with one another.  Nothing is off-limits or taboo to talk about.  A trained sex therapist is well aware of how anxious you both may be about talking on this intimate subject but they will set you at ease guiding you into talking about sex and the issues you are concerned about.

Many sex therapists will say the top two problems couples need help fixing are one, low sexual desire and two, disagreements on the frequency of sex. 

Depending on the problems or issues needing work will determine how many visits a couple will need to make with a sex therapist.  Sexually-oriented problems such as a young woman experiencing difficulty in reaching orgasm, could only take a couple of sessions.  Sexual problems entangled in the relationship between couples involving a power struggle with each other may take longer of up to 6 months to resolve.  If a couple is seeking help for past sexual trauma, or childhood incidents of neglect or sexual abuse, this could possibly take years to treat effectively.

Here are other signs or issues couples may have that would benefit by seeing a sex therapist:

·      Women who want to have their first orgasm or want to orgasm with their partner

·      Men with premature ejaculation

·      Erectile dysfunction

·      Delayed ejaculation

·      Breast cancer and prostate cancer survivors

·      Technique problems

·      Learning to enjoy oral sex

·      Getting over the “ick” factor feelings about different sex positions or acts

·      Porn addiction or sex addiction

·      Boring sex lives

·      Not attracted to their partner

·      Trouble becoming aroused

·      Inhibitions toward sex

·      Fetishes

Anyone or any couple who is having challenges in their sex lives should consider seeing a sex therapist.  To find someone who is qualified for counseling regarding issues of human sexuality, visit the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists website.