The truth behind a woman’s low sex drive

It’s a complicated issue but the truth is some women may lose interest in sex over time, while men usually do not. Over the course of long-term relationships, a woman’s sex drive naturally fluctuates over the years.  Highs and lows commonly coincide with the beginning or end of a relationship or with major life changes, such as pregnancy, menopause or illness. Whatever the cause, low libido in women can be a contentious sore spot when a partner wants to engage in sex but she has little to no desire. 

Sexual satisfaction is an important part of a woman’s overall health and well-being.  When problems arise, it is vital to discover what is causing her to have her libido bottom out. 

There are four areas that play a role in affecting a woman’s desire for sex – physical, hormonal, psychological and relationship issues.

Physical reasons

·      Medications such as antidepressants and anti-seizure meds can squelch sex drive.

·      Being fatigued or exhausted due to caring for children or aging parents will make her less likely to look forward to sex.

·      Surgery or a prolonged illness can affect how she feels about her body and sexual functioning.

·      Medical conditions such as arthritis, diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease or neurological diseases can all put a damper on desire for sex.

·      Any type of sexual problems such as pain during intercourse or not being able to achieve an orgasm can drive sex drive into the ground.

Hormonal changes

·      Pregnancy and breastfeeding have huge hormonal changes associated with them which can affect sex drive.  Add to that, the fatigue, body changes, and becoming a new mom with tremendous responsibility can often put sex at the bottom of her to-do list.

·      Menopause is the other huge change in a woman’s life.  During this phase a woman’s estrogen levels drop causing vaginal dryness leading to pain during sex.  Not all women will have a lagging libido during menopause but it can happen.

Psychological issues

·      Anxiety and depression

·      A high amount of stress related to family, work or financial issues

·      Having low self-esteem and a poor body image

·      History of sexual or physical abuse

·      History of a previous bad sexual or relational experience

Relationship issues

·      Having a poor relationship with your partner

·      Lack of communication of sexual needs

·      Infidelity

·      Lack of trust with your partner

Reviving a woman’s sex drive

The first step in confronting a woman’s low libido is to pinpoint exactly what is causing it.  Most likely, whatever the reason that has doused her flame of desire, it will fall within one of the four areas listed above.

Some of the ways to revive a woman’s sex drive is to consider the following suggestions:

·      If the issue is lack of lubrication making sex uncomfortable, then using either a lubricant or estrogen cream on the clitoral area can be of help.

·      If there are relationship problems within the marriage, then seek out professional help from a marriage or sex therapist.  Spend more time alone away from the kids and begin to relate to one another as a husband and wife.

·      Some women lack self-esteem feeling they are not sexy enough.  Going for a make-over, a new haircut, a spa treatment or wearing lingerie camouflaging areas she doesn’t like, can put a spark into a lackluster sex life. 

Women should also seek out professional help by making an appointment with her primary care doctor or gynecologist.  Either one are trained to discuss these issues of intimacy allowing a woman to candidly talk about her sexual concerns.  It is better to approach this topic sooner than later before it begins negatively affecting your relationship with your partner.