Telltale signs you have a great sex life

As humans, we are sexual beings and if we want to keep the human race going on for years to come, then sex will be a part of that process. Of course, sex is not just for procreation – there are a lot of physical and emotional reasons we choose to engage in this essential activity bonding us to our partners including stress relief, exercise, expression of love and commitment and for the pure pleasure it delivers.

 But if you had to rate your sex life, what would you say - excellent, good, fair, poor, or nonexistent?  What is your definition of what a healthy sex life looks like? 

Maybe rating your bedroom activities hasn’t crossed your mind before (likely it has though).  But if you have any doubts or question how well your sexual escapades are faring, here are specific signs telling you if what happens between the sheets is going good or could improve:

Not always but sometimes you schedule when to have sex

In the movies, spontaneous sex always comes off very passionate, exciting, and romantic. In real life, the kids are walking in and out of your bedroom, the phone is ringing, clothes need to be washed and the dog wants to go on a walk. This is when penciling in a planner or on your smart phone when to have sex can keep the fires within burning bright. Think of it as a reminder to tone down stress while upping the love you share with your partner.

You really enjoy sex

Sex doesn’t have to be a “skyrockets in flight” kind of event each and every time, but it should be something you like and look forward to.  When being next to your partner ignites excitement, warm feelings, and pure love, this is a very good sign you most likely enjoy any sexual interludes that may develop. 

You like yourself and your body

The most sexually satisfied women ages 18 to 49 were those who scored high on a body image scale.  This finding was from a University of Texas study that showed when a woman dwells on the size of her thighs, belly, or other body part, it will distract pleasurable sensations during sex.  This means lubrication to the vagina is reduced making it difficult to achieve orgasm. Get a better body image by exercising regularly, improving self-confidence and understanding that men like many different body sizes and he wouldn’t have chosen you if he hadn’t been attracted to you in the first place.

You tell your partner what you like in bed

To expect your partner to be a mind reader, knowing exactly what excites you the most in bed, is unrealistic.  Instead of simply letting them grope around trying to figure out what turns you on, tell them.  You’ll be pleasantly surprised how much that turns them on.  Even though it’s preferable to talk about fantasies in person, sending your partner a text describing what you want will also attract their attention

You find ways to switch it up

If you can’t remember the last time you had sex in any other place except your bed, it’s time to switch it up.  It’s common for couples to get stuck in a sexual rut.  Same time, same place. If your love life has gotten, say, boring, change things up.  Try a different room, outfits, or positions to make sex feel fresh again.

If a slow stretch occurs, you don’t panic

Just about every couple in a long-term relationship will tell you, there will be times when your sex life may slow to a crawl.  Passion can ebb and flow over time.  It doesn’t make it right or wrong, it just is.  The important thing to remember is openness and honesty if you’ve lost that loving feeling.  Having a heart-to-heart talk is a quick way to bring back your sex life.

The number of times doesn’t count

Those who keep track of the frequency of copulation may find it stressful putting undue pressure as another “to-do” item on your item.  Besides, focusing on the number of times is not a good way to assess your sex life.  It’s far better to have more natural and spontaneous opportunities for sex to happen such as going on date nights or trying out new locales of things to do. 

You and your partner have a happy relationship

Part of achieving sexual satisfaction involves the amount of happiness in your relationship.  Feelings of attraction and happiness towards your partner pave the way for better sex.  This results in having a stronger interest in sex, feeling good about how often it happens, and with fewer disagreements over sex.

Dr. David Samadi is the Director of Men’s Health and Urologic Oncology at St. Francis Hospital in Long Island. He’s a renowned and highly successful board certified Urologic Oncologist Expert and Robotic Surgeon in New York City, regarded as one of the leading prostate surgeons in the U.S., with a vast expertise in prostate cancer treatment and Robotic-Assisted Laparoscopic Prostatectomy.  Visit Dr. Samadi’s websites at robotic oncology and prostate cancer 911.