What’s the one thing we all think about but may not discuss with others – will I have sex when I’m old.  We live in a world where only the young are portrayed as sexual beings.  As if simply because the younger generation has unlined skin and plenty of energy, anyone over the age of 60 most likely has put their sex life aside to only be interested in playing a round of golf or fishing the day away.

How untrue.  Older people do, can and want to have sex just like anyone else of any age.  Dispelling long-held myths regarding sexuality in the elderly should be welcomed news for any of us who have hopes and dreams of still being able to enjoy sex well into the golden years.

Here are common sexual myths that need to be exposed separating fact from fiction:

·         Fiction - If you’re over the age of 50, your sex life has dried up and disappeared

Fact - Just because the person staring back at you in the mirror looks different than the same person 30 years ago does not mean you are not an attractive, desirable human being.  Sure, the hair has turned gray, the belly has softened and there are more smile lines around the eyes, does not make one unattractive.  What made a person appealing when they were young can still be present as they age. 

In fact, many married couples find one another more attractive as the years go by.  Often, with age brings maturity and more self-confidence, both very alluring and sexy qualities.

No, sex does not have to diminish with age, it can only get better.  Most couples have become more comfortable with one another and are often more willing to try out new techniques as they have developed an understanding and trust they may not have had when they were much younger.

·         Fiction – Older people having sex is undignified

Fact – Maybe thinking of grandma and grandpa having sex is a thought you don’t dare comprehend, but remember, they are part of the reason why you are here to begin with.  Older adults do and need to express their sexuality.  Noticing an older couple holding hands, sneaking a kiss or dancing passionately together should be viewed as a positive affirmation of their feelings towards one another and yes, that does include sex. 

We are living longer than ever and why would any of us believe that the last 20 to 30 years of our life should be spent in celibacy?   It’s time our society portray the elderly as vital, healthy and even sexy in a good way to make it normal to view them as having a strong, healthy sexual appetite.

·         Fiction – Once past a certain age, sex is thing of the past for most men and women

Fact – Not true.  There can be certain physical changes occurring with age such as vaginal dryness and erectile dysfunction that can make sex difficult but the reality is they can still have a satisfying sex life.

Women experiencing vaginal dryness or pain can use lubricants and hormone creams to substitute what nature is no longer providing.  Men with erectile dysfunction can choose from a variety of effective medications used to treat this such as Cialis and Viagra. 

There can and will be times when the body just doesn’t want to perform like it used to but it does not have to put out the sexual fires completely.  This can mean more of a switch from the focus being solely on intercourse and orgasms to developing a new style of lovemaking that is based more on foreplay.

·         Fiction – Sex is no longer exciting like it was in the younger days

Fact – there can be a slowing down of the frequency, a slower arousal time and a drop in libido, but this does not have to add up to a boring sex life.

With age comes experience.  A young man of 20 may achieve a rock hard erection and have an orgasm within seconds but the quality of sex may not be there.  An older, more experienced man will have better control over his ejaculations knowing how to make sex last longer.  They will have a better technique and be focused on pleasing his partner over himself.

Older women who have gone through menopause, will no longer have the worry of getting pregnant making them more adventurous being able to fully enjoy the pure pleasure of sex.  Women with age also have more confidence since they have more experience and will know how to please a man to his fullest.

The best news is that sex in old age means a couple has less inhibitions and are more likely to engage in experimentation and playfulness than what they wouldn’t have done when the kids were around.   That should give all of us something to look forward to.