Secrets keeping sexual satisfaction alive and well

Who can forget the flutters of giddiness when you first feel in love with someone?  Every time you were together, the euphoria of excitement, happiness and of infatuation believing those feelings will last forever, are some of the strongest emotions humans can experience.

But over time, those same feelings will begin to wither away as the reality of everyday life sets in.  There comes a day when you realize, you’re significant other is not perfect, the euphoria feeling has dissipated and spending long hours apart no longer bothers you. 

If keeping those feelings are important to you, then sex is the glue in keeping a romantic relationship alive and well. But what if you’ve lost interest in sex?  What factors cause couples to descend into the downhill slide of a sex life that at one time began at a boil to barely reaching a slow simmer as the years go by?

Study investigates factors that are the biggest turn-offs in sexual interest

To determine what factors are associated with causing a lack of interest in sex and how they vary by gender, was the aim of a recent study in the United Kingdom.  The researchers reviewed responses of 4,839 men and 6,669 women between the ages of 16 and 74 who reported having lived with their romantic partner for at least a year. 

What was discovered was that more than 34 percent of women stated they lacked an interest in sex while only 15 percent of men stated this same proclamation.  However, both genders were more equally in agreement on feeling distressed by a dwindling loss in sexual desire – more than 60 percent women felt this way and over 50 percent of men did too.

The reasons given for this loss in sexual satisfaction and interest were the following:

·      Having had a sexually transmitted infection in the previous year

·      Having experienced non-consensual sex

·      Being in poor mental and physical health

·      Not feeling emotionally close to one’s partner during intercourse

·      Men experiencing their lowest levels of sexual interest between the ages of 35 and 44

·      Women experiencing their lowest levels of sexual interest between the ages of 55 and 64

·      For men, the feeling of pressure to always have to initiate sex

·      Men losing interest if their partner had trouble with sexual arousal

·      Women losing interest if their partner was stressed over problems with erectile dysfunction

 

An interesting finding associated exclusively with women was women who had had three or more partners in the past year were less likely to lack sexual interest than women with only one partner.  Women also reported that having been pregnant in the past year or having children to take care of under the age of 5 and not sharing the same sexual likes and dislikes as their partners were also reasons given for sexual dissatisfaction.

 

What is the secret to keep the sexual spark lit?

 

The main factor keeping sexual satisfaction going strong for both men and women was penile-vaginal intercourse and the consistency of being able to reach vaginal orgasm.  When a couple has a romantic relationship, sex is what essentially and literally binds a couple together in a meaningful way gaining a strong emotional and physical connection with their partner.  In other words, both men and women need that strong emotional component to the relationship to keep desire for on another on the forefront. 

 

Another positive quality and one of the most important things a couple can do to maintain sexual satisfaction was to have open communication about sexual wishes and the ability to easily talk about sex.  When couples can have an open and honest dialogue on sex it tends to increase more interest in it. 

 

Bottom line, to keep sexual fires blazing, start having talks about sex with your partner.  This can be at least a good starting point.  The other thing is to find ways to make sex a priority and to not let the pressures of daily life snuff it out.  Also showing affection towards each other and spending time together each day can have a strong influence on keeping desire strong.