How to maintain your sex life after baby arrives

The excitement of a baby’s arrival is one of the happiest times of any couple’s life.  The cuddling, snuggling, and immense love shown toward this new bundle of joy surpasses any downsides associated with pregnancy.  But then reality hits.  Suddenly, sexual spontaneity has flown out the window. No more afternoon romps in bed or having a sexual rendezvous anywhere in the house at any time. Very likely both you and your partner are sleep-deprived, overworked, overwhelmed, and underperforming in this vital part of your relationship.

Most parents are well aware that bringing home baby will be a major change to their lifestyle.  But sometimes they have no idea just how much it will affect their sex life.  Yes, it will change but it does not mean it will cease to exist.  The first few months can be trying and will test you both to your limits.  But do not let it overtake the most intimate and necessary aspect of any couple’s sexual well-being.  Remember, having a strong relationship – and sex is a part of that – is as much for your child’s sake as it is for yours. Happy parents make better parents.  Here are some tips on how to recharge your sex life so it doesn’t evaporate altogether:

·      Find time alone – Of course, this is easier said than done but it is a must.  If grandparents or other close relatives are nearby, have scheduled times to have them spend time with the baby allowing you time to spend with each other.  Or schedule a daytime babysitter to take the kids to a museum, zoo, aquarium, or park.  While the kids are away, just enjoy one another.

·      Take time to flirt - Remember when you were first dating and just getting a text from one another gave you that loving feeling?  Now that your parents, get back to flirting with one another once again. It could be texting how much you love each other or how you can’t wait to get home after work.  Make them as racy as you want. When you’re together, sneak a quick kiss or rub one another’s necks or backs.  Anything that sends a message of love and how much you still desire one another.

·      Try morning sex – Set the alarm a few minutes earlier on certain days of the month setting aside time for lovemaking.  It’s a great way to start off your day with smiles while experiencing the health benefits of sex.

·      Keep open lines of communication – Just like you talk to each other about money and parenting style, talk with each other about your wants and needs in the bedroom.  Sex is a selfish desire in a lot of ways but it’s a basic human need.  If you don’t verbalize what you want or like, you won’t get it.  Be open and honest with one another and take a few moments each day to express your desires.

·      Be patient with one another – It helps immensely when both parents are supportive of each other.  If the mother has been home all day caring for baby, ask what she needs most from you to give her a break.  It could be running an errand, washing a load of laundry, putting away dishes or playing with the baby so she can go on a walk by herself.  Little things like this go a long way in nurturing your relationship helping to create a more loving attitude toward one another.