Has the lockdown flattened your libido? How to bring it back

Talk about a no-win situation; trying to dodge an invisible virus and keeping ourselves physically distant from one another, has likely taken a toll on your libido. In recent days, all states have finally lifted their strict lockdown rules to some degree but there are still guidelines reminding us to not let up our guard against COVID-19.  The lifting of lockdowns has helped but many are still suffering from worry and anxiety which may have left libido still in limbo.

Coping sexually during a pandemic

I doubt if anyone would say that experiencing little to no interest in sex during a worldwide pandemic is abnormal; in fact, it’s to be expected. Tons of stress and anxiety are most notably driving this lack of sexual desire. It’s hard to get in the mood when feelings of fear and uncertainty of the future are topmost in your mind. From financial stress to figuring out how to work from home while helping kids navigate online schooling are just a few examples many of us have faced. Stress is a well-known libido killer and when combined with anxiety, it’s a double whammy effectively shutting down your sex life for some time.

Add to this scenario, living under stress sends us into a state of fight or flight.  All we are focused on is surviving and not procreating. This will automatically cause less interest in sex leading to a lack of libido.

Other factors involved include changes in everyday routines and lifestyles. Working from home, spending more time together as a couple of family, changes in eating and sleeping habits, have all contributed to lack of action between the bed sheets.

Like all pandemics in the history of the world that have gone away, this one will too, eventually. Life will return to normal and we will continue to move forward. That also includes your sex life. This is not the time to give up on it. There are ways to bring it back to prevent it from fizzling out altogether.

Reviving your libido

Here are easy ways to set the mood for love – do them daily and your interest in intimacy will be sparked the more they are practiced.

·      Skin-to-skin contact

When social distancing, recommendations of no shaking hands, hugging, or kissing along with the fear of  “coming into close contact with someone infected with COVID-19,” were first advised, this has created a longing for physical connection like never before. Referred to as “skin hunger,” physical human contact is an emotional and physical need based on our biology and psychology.  The act of touch releases oxytocin, reduces stress, and calms our nervous system.  Exactly what’s needed for increasing sexual desire.

 

Be sure you and your partner are taking time to touch and often.  Here are ideas to get you started:

·      Foot massages

·      Back rubs

·      Head rubs

·      Cuddling

·      Hugs

·      Holding hands

·      Close dancing

·      Kissing

·      Showering or bathing together

·      Oil massage

·      Block time for intimacy

It’s easy to get busy watching the latest news on the pandemic or to spend inordinate amounts of time on social media, but avoid this at the expense of making time to be with your loved one. Just like you make time to exercise, you have to make time for intimacy.  It doesn’t mean it will automatically culminate in a sexual rendezvous, but it at least sets the mood and opportunity for it to happen. Each day carve in some time for a one-on-one “meeting” to explore what each other’s thoughts and feelings.

·      Have a date night

Even during pandemics, date nights matter to sexual health. Regular date nights help to build resilience carrying your relationship during these challenging times. When focusing on each other, date nights help nurture your relationship building a strong foundation. Date nights can be as simple or as lavish as you want. The idea is to do something different with fun in mind. Playing board games, ordering pizza and watching a movie, taking a car ride, going to a new restaurant, or watching the sunset while sipping on wine, can be ideas that light a fire in both of you for intimacy later on.

·      Spend some time apart

This may sound counterproductive, but if the lockdown has made it to where you are spending far more time together than ever before, some alone time is likely necessary. The saying, “absence makes the heart grow fonder,” is true. Take time to be alone whether it is sitting in other rooms, taking a walk by yourself, or watching different TV programs on different devices, can be a welcome breather allowing you to want to see each other again soon.

Dr. David Samadi is the Director of Men’s Health and Urologic Oncology at St. Francis Hospital in Long Island. He’s a renowned and highly successful board certified Urologic Oncologist Expert and Robotic Surgeon in New York City, regarded as one of the leading prostate surgeons in the U.S., with a vast expertise in prostate cancer treatment and Robotic-Assisted Laparoscopic Prostatectomy.  Visit Dr. Samadi’s websites at robotic oncology and prostate cancer 911.