After having a baby, sex might be the last thing on your mind.  It is easy to lose sight of re-establishing intimacy when you are busy establishing your family, but it is important for both you and your partner. Resuming sexual activity can be extremely difficult for a whole slew of reasons.  Let’s take a look at the most common reason sex is difficult after a child:

1.     Decreased libido: After delivery, most women experience a decreased desire. This generally last six to eight weeks, however most couples experience a decrease in frequency of sex throughout the first year.  This is mostly hormonal.  Prolactin levels rise to allow for breastfeeding, resulting in both decreased dopamine and desire. 

2.     Body image issues:  During pregnancy, a woman’s body undergoes very dramatic and quick changes.  Many have a hard time feeling sexual following the weight gain.

3.     Postpartum depression: Studies have found that up to 25% of women experience symptoms of depression after giving birth. This contributes to a decreased libido and trouble finding energy or joy within your daily life.

4.     Pain during sex:  Over 50% of women will experience pain during their first intercourse after birth.  This is more common following vaginal deliveries, particularly if the deliveries were assisted using forceps or vacuum extraction.  Furthermore, hormonal changes can cause the vagina to be dry and tender, particularly if you are breast feeding

How can you reclaim your sex life after giving birth?

Intimacy isn’t all about having sex.   Even if you aren’t ready to have sex yet, find time to connect with your partner.  Set a date night to spend time together without the baby.  You can talk with your ob-gyn, and they can advise you as to when you can safely resume sexual activity. 

To help ease discomfort during sex you can try the following:

• • • Take it slow
    • Use lubricant
    • Try different positions to take pressure off any sore areas
    • Low dose estrogen cream under your doctor’s supervision

To help increase pleasure of sex once you have resumed it you can work on toning your pelvic floor by engaging in Kegel exercises.  After a vaginal delivery decreased muscle tone in the vagina may reduce pleasure, which is why these exercises can be helpful.  Simply tighten your pelvic muscles as if you’re stopping your urine stream.  Try it for five seconds at a time, 5 times in a row and working up to 3 sets of 10 Kegels a day.