According to some research, happiness occurs when you are fully engaged both mentally and physically in the experiences. On the contrary, we are less happy (doing any activity) when we are distracted by thoughts, doubts etc. Sex can be a way to get out of own mind and force you to focus on the physical matters at hand.  This action of being both mentally and physically present helps to reduce stress in a way similar to physical exercise.

Unfortunately, for many people outside thoughts can often get the best of you and have you distracted during sex rather than enjoying the moment.  So how can we turn off the distractions in our live and pay more attention during sex?

For one, understand that your day contributes to your time for sex. Most people think that staying focused in the bedroom is isolated to what you do in the bedroom.  On the contrary, our entire day contributes to whether or not you are present during sex.  You can’t expect to be perfectly calm and centered during intimacy if you spend your day dealing with anxiety, multitasking, and being generally overwhelmed and stressed.  Practice slowing down your mind at any point during the day. Taking a break from everything around you can allow you to be more present when it’s time for sex.  Meditation, like breathing exercises or yoga, can also be very helpful on this front.

During sex, trying to prevent yourself from thinking only makes you think more.  Thinking about not thinking intensifies the distraction, kind of like an elephant in the room.  You can allow thoughts to pop into your head but don’t focus on them.  Remind yourself of the decision you have made to be intimate with your partner, and that it is just plain rude to be elsewhere mentally.  Remember to check in, and even talk to your partner during sex to help you stay grounded and focused on the matter at hand.

If you are someone who has trouble focusing, make sure there are a minimal amount of distractions in the bedroom.  Before you get down to business, clean up, put phones and iPads away, and make sure there isn’t something urgent you need to be doing.  If you are distracted by dirty laundry or dishes, make sure it is not in plain sight or make sure you’ve taken care of it before starting your sexual romp.  Keeping distraction to a minimum means more quality time for your partner. All the things can help you pay attention during sex, making it a more pleasurable experience for you and your partner.