Why men need “work” even after retirement

Men, be careful what you wish for when you say, “I want to take early retirement.” 

Retiring from a tedious or stressful job earlier than planned may seem the logical thing to do.  And in many cases, it can be the right decision.  Initially, once leaving a job and living a life in retirement does indeed open up much more free time to do what you want when you want.  But, within a few months, you may find yourself getting antsy.  There are only so many trips you can take or puttering around doing yardwork that needs to be done.   Suddenly, you realize, you miss “work.”  You miss the male bonding your job provided, the team projects, the work engagements that required your thinking, comprehensive and analytical skills.  You may suddenly realize you’re lonely and are asking yourself, “What am I going to do today.”  How do you fill the long hours and days of retirement without losing your sense of purpose or identity?

Men more vulnerable to depression and boredom in retirement

Retired men are different from retired women.  Women who are retired usually can easily find many opportunities to connect with other women and dive into various social or community activities.  Retired men may not have such a smooth transition.  Experts say men are susceptible to depression and boredom in retirement, partly because their identity is more closely tied to their careers compared to women.

Men tend to get their sense of identity from their job.  Employment offers a predictable routine to the day and many men form strong bonds with other men at their work.  It doesn’t matter if a man was the CEO or the janitor.   Once retired, those social connections and networks often evaporate leaving a man feeling vulnerable not knowing how to fill each day.  And the more a man loves his job at the time of retirement, the more difficult it can be adjusting to this new phase of life.

Retirement for men can bring about depression.  A 2013 study from the Institute of Economic Affairs found men who retired had an increased probability of suffering from clinical depression by about 40 percent.  Men also have the highest suicide rates worldwide according to the World Health Organization.  

What men miss the most from gainful employment is not so much the money they made or the job itself – it’s the socialization and self-esteem that working provides.  Knowing he is the “family breadwinner” or a “valuable employee” can be very hard titles to give up which men define themselves by.  Work provides an outlet for men to use their unique special skills of team building, leadership, and performance.  It allows them to know they are contributing to the greater good of society and they are needed.

Steps men can take finding greater fulfillment in retirement

To avoid depression, boredom and a loss of identity, the key to a happy retirement for men is having multiple methods in which to connect with people filling the missing gaps a job had once provided. This can mean different things for different men, but it is vital for all retired men to take the following steps suggesting ways of recreating the workplace dynamics:

·      Join a group or club that serves a purpose for the greater good of the community.  For example, men can offer their skills they possess in helping out others.  It could be doing woodworking, bike repair, mentoring others, serving on committees, volunteer work, or being an advisor for certain jobs they are trained at.

·      Just because a man is retired, does not mean he still can’t “work.”  Many men find gainful employment in working part time as adjunct professors in colleges, hardware or bookstores, museums, or even in large retail businesses.  Having something to get up for each morning can be a significant boost for retired men and their mental outlook.

·      Seek out social networks with other men doing things you enjoy.  For instance, a walking group, a golf or bowling league, a card or chess club, a men’s club at an adult community center or a class at an adult education center can be perfect ways to connect with men who are also retired.

·      Set up regular get-togethers for coffee or lunch with other men for conversation and camaraderie.  

·      Form a project along with other retired men to work on a project fulfilling a need within the community.  For example, retired men who have carpentry skills could volunteer to repair or build new playground equipment for a park or who have gardening skills and knowledge to build and maintain a community garden.

·      If a man can speak more than one language or is an expert at playing a musical instrument, help someone else learn the language or to play the instrument.

The real success of retirement for men (and women) is the quality of life he experiences.  When men participate in activities making him feel needed and fulfilled, then he can feel satisfied with how he is spending his time.  Advanced planning of what to expect once retired can make a huge difference on how it affects a man once it arrives.  And when a man experiences the free time opened up and available to enjoy, it can make the retirement years much more worthwhile and meaningful in the long run.