The importance of dads bonding with baby

Becoming a dad is a defining moment in a man’s life.  The buildup and anticipation of the birth and then the first time of seeing his baby will change his life forever.  Those initial years are valuable and precious for both dads and their children to lay the foundation for a life-long bonding with their babies.

However, often the focus is on the mother-baby bond with little mention of dad’s all-important role.  Father’s may feel left out of the initial bonding process during those first few weeks when mom is busy nursing the baby.  Yet science is on the side of dads as more and more research is showing the vital importance of father-baby bonding. 

New research out of Britain, recruited 128 dads and their newborn babies to take part in a study.  At three months, researchers assessed the ways the dads and their babies interacted without any toys, just dad talking and playing with his baby.  Two years later, the researchers observed these same dads play with and read to their child.  The toddlers were given a standardized test to measure social and language skills as well as problem-solving and the ability to pay attention.  The children whose dads had encouraged them to explore their surroundings during play and read to them being engaged and positive over the two years since their birth, did better on the tests then children whose dads were not as involved.

It has been shown that babies who interact more with their dads tend to get along better with peers later in life.  They also tend to be more law-abiding and less likely to get involved in crime and other anti-social behavior. 

The bonding between dads and their babies cannot be overlooked or underestimated.  Like mothers, fathers, need quiet time to spend holding their new babies close, gazing into their eyes, talking to them and comforting them when distressed.  New fathers can also take their baby on a walk, help change their diaper, or simply hold a quiet baby while reading to them.

While mothers may find it easier and more natural to bond with their babies, dad’s involvement takes on a different yet important approach to parenting.  Dads are more physical and rough in their approach, which helps children explore a different aspect to what they usually experience with their moms. 

Here are some ways to help dads bond with their babies that are fun and engaging methods to use right from the start:

·      From day one, be a part of their life

Beginning in the hospital and once they are brought home, dads can be very involved with baby’s care.  Changing dirty diapers, giving them a bath or comforting them, each time spent with their baby strengthens the bond between them. Dads are more naturally “fun” with their babies – making funny noises, silly faces, or tossing them gently in the air (when baby is older), are all ways in which dad can playfully interact with his baby.

·      Use the power of touch

Skin-to-skin contact between the father and newborn baby is now highly encouraged in hospitals shortly after baby’s birth.  Within the first hours after birth, babies are now being placed on dads bare chest which research has found helps baby to cry less and to achieve a drowsy, contented state sooner than if placed in a bassinette.  The father’s bare chest also stabilizes the baby’s body temperature to a normal range, reduces newborn stress, and helps keep the baby’s blood sugar within normal limits.  Baby is not the only one who benefits – when a father hold his newborn skin-to-skin on his chest, he releases oxytocin, a hormone that supports bonding and trust in humans.  This makes it more likely that dad will fall in love with his baby since his body is flooded with oxytocin securing a strong connection.

·      Be there to help baby explore his world

During that first year, encourage baby’s development by exploring the outside world together.  Go for stroller rides, pointing out objects by naming them. Take them to the zoo, museums, and on other outings.  Even though baby may not understand yet, it helps them connect better with the world and things around them. 

·      Move with your baby

Newborns love to move and become attentive when being held with dad moving to a rhythmic beat.  When dad holds baby closely keeping tempo with music, whether it’s a jazzy tune or a slow waltz, “dancing” helps them feel secure and calm.

·      Read and talk to baby

The only way baby will learn language and excel in speech, is to be read and talked to.  Dads can make a difference in this area – babies can differentiate between their mother’s and father’s voice from as early as day one.  So, talk to baby and get them used to your voice by reading, talking, or singing to them.