Five reasons why men attempt suicide

Men are at risk.  The risk they face is the fact men die by suicide 3.5 times more often than women – 3 out of 4 suicides are committed by men.  According to the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, suicide is the 10th leading cause of death in the United States. Death by suicide is always a difficult topic to discuss.  But if we are ever going to learn and figure out why men are especially at risk for wanting to take their own life, it’s a discussion that must take place.

A beginning step is to understand why men are more likely to die by suicide.  What are men facing that that gets them to the state of mind of contemplating and carrying out the act of taking their own lives?  What is the psychology behind their decision that will have a wide ripple effect on those who care and love these men and wanted them around for a long time?

We all ask the simple question of “why” when we hear of someone who dies in this manner.  Even if the man taking his own life left behind a suicide note, there can still be lingering unanswered questions that usually remain.  We all realize the person felt distraught or sad but why did they feel that way? 

Many people who have survived suicide attempts have stated they wanted not so much to die as to stop living.  The reasons behind suicide attempts are many.  But in general, there are five reasons why men make this decision of taking their own life:

1.  Depression

There is no doubt depression is the most common reason why most people make this choice.  Severe depression spirals out of control into beliefs that “everyone will be better off without me” to feeling utterly hopeless.  Men tend to suffer with depression in silence.  This obviously makes it more difficult to recognize before it’s too late. 

What to do:  Recognize signs of depression in men.  Never deny the possibility of suicidal thoughts they may be contemplating.  Inquire directly about any suicidal thoughts they may be having and get them help with a mental health professional right away. 

2.  Psychosis

 Psychosis also known as schizophrenia is a mental health problem causing people to perceive or interpret things differently from those around that could even involve hallucinations of voices they may hear commanding them to kill themselves or other delusions. Because of the nature of psychosis, it is much harder to hide than depression.   Worldwide, only 1% of people have schizophrenia.  It is a condition that can strike healthy, high-performing individuals but once diagnosed, is possible that it can be managed with medication. 

What to do:  Psychosis is a treatable condition.  In fact, in order for someone with schizophrenic to function, they must be treated.  If left untreated or if it is poorly treated, psychosis will almost always require hospital admission to a locked ward until the voices lose their power.  Indications of schizophrenia need to be addressed right away in order to have the proper prescription medications given along with regular visits with a mental health counselor.

3.  Impulsivity

Men are known for being impulsive.  They take more risks such as driving too fast or experimenting with drugs and alcohol.  These same men may also make a rash and impulsive decision to end their life.  Often this is a result of drug or alcohol abuse where they become high or drunk leading to thoughts of self-pity or becoming tearfully sentimental causing them to consider suicide.  Once they sober up, they feel extreme shame over their actions vowing to never do it again only to have it occur next time they become high or drunk.

What to do:  In these situations, substance abuse is the driver of their impulsivity needing addressed.  It should be handled aggressively by getting them in to see a drug/alcohol abuse center that can help them face their addiction.  Don’t wait to get them help as it could be too late in preventing a suicide attempt.

4.  A cry for help

 Men are hard to read at times.  They like to look and act stoic showing little emotion.  But inside, they may be crying out for help.  Men are usually taught growing up to “man up” or “be a man” meaning to stuff their feelings and not show them. Ignore what you’re really feeling long enough, and eventually those feelings will come boiling to the top and in not a pleasant way.  These men often display behavior of suddenly lashing out or running from uncomfortable situations not wanting to talk.  If these bottled up emotions are never released, it can lead a man to contemplate taking his life ending the pain he is in. 

What to do:  First, raise boys to express what they are feeling.  Men can still be manly but can also learn to communicate in such a way that helps him express his emotions in a positive way.  Learn to listen to what they are saying showing understanding and patience without any judgement.  Make them feel comfortable in seeking out help when needed.  Make time to spend time with them engaging them in conversation.

5.  A philosophical desire to die

In these situations, a philosophical desire to die often stems from a painful situation in their life.  It could be a terminal illness or other situations that look to be hopeless for them.  Their decision to commit suicide is not based on being depressed, psychotic or crying out for help.  Rather they have a strong desire to be in control of their own destiny and to alleviate their own suffering in which death is the answer.  They look upon suicide as a way to quicken the inevitable. 

What to do:  There are very personal viewpoints on this type of situation.  At the very least, they should be evaluated by a qualified mental health professional along with their physician and any religious affiliation they may have should also be involved.  Helping them reach a state of mind where they are at peace can help turn the situation around to avoid the possibility of taking their own life by suicide.

For men needing to speak with someone immediately, contact National Suicide Prevention Lifeline on 1-800-273-8255 or if suicide is imminent, call 911 or go directly to emergency services.