A woman’s guide to helping her man with erectile dysfunction

It’s bound to happen at some point for any woman who is sexually active.  You both slip under the covers ready for a sexual rendezvous when suddenly things aren’t looking up.  Instead of his manhood standing tall and proud ready for action, it is behaving as if it has no interest whatsoever.  Both of you know that is not true but as a couple, dealing with erectile dysfunction (ED) can be an awkward and embarrassing situation putting a strain on a relationship.

What can you as a woman do to understand, deal with and to ultimately help your man when erectile dysfunction arises?  Your response and attitude towards this very common condition affecting almost all men at one time or another in their lifetime can make or break how he will handle the situation.

To help your man in the best way you know how, here are suggestions on how to stand by your man when he’s having a down day:

·      Bring up the situation

ED happens to the best of men.  Just knowing that fact means there is no reason to try to avoid the problem of or not talking about it.  If a couple fails to discuss ED, it will only get worse.  Your man will feel more and more inadequate and you will wonder if it has something to do with you. 

By bringing the topic into the light and outside of the darkness of a bedroom, this can at least get the conversation going ultimately resulting in a solution.

·      Accompany him to a doctor

If a man is having recurrent difficulty in maintaining an erection sufficient for successful sexual intercourse for more than a month, it is time to escort him to a doctor.  Erectile dysfunction for that length of time can begin to have an impact on your relationship and not in a good way.  It affects a man’s “sexual self-esteem” in addition to the fact there is a very high link between erectile dysfunction, cardiovascular disease and even type 2 diabetes. 

In order for an erection to occur, good blood flow into the penis is necessary.  The inability to achieve an erection could indicate a problem with blood flow and can be a first symptom of vascular disease which left untreated, could lead to a heart attack or stroke.  Get him into a doctor for a full physical to get a better understanding of what is causing his ED.

·      Be supportive and empathetic towards him

Men with ED are already feeling embarrassed and under pressure to perform and the last thing you want to do is to make him feel belittled about his plight.  Remember, that ED increases with age.  At least 50% of men between the ages of 40 and 70 will experience changes in their erections. 

Speak words of encouragement reassuring him that there are very good treatments for ED that are proven to be successful.  Tell him you still find him attractive, desirable and that this too will pass.

Show your love towards him by taking long walks holding hands, giving him warm hugs and kisses and letting him know you care.  He will be much more encouraged and inclined to want to get it treated in order to get back in the saddle again.

·      It’s not all about you

Some women who are not familiar with ED may assume that his supposed “lack of interest” is somehow her fault.  Women may tend to blame themselves thinking they have done something wrong or her man no longer finds her attractive.

ED can be due to many things but most likely it is not due to anything his woman may have done.  There can be many culprits that can lead to the path of ED - his age, an undiagnosed health problem, medications, stress, depression, alcohol use, or prolonged drug use. 

·      Encourage him to lead a healthy lifestyle

A diagnosis of ED is not the end of the road for your sex life.  In fact, it could just be the beginning of taking a road leading him towards a healthier lifestyle.  An ED diagnosis is often a wakeup call for any man to make changes.  Once his doctor figures out how to best treat his ED, a man is often advised to also make lifestyle changes such as choosing healthy foods, exercise, reducing stress, or giving up smoking.  These changes will assist a man in resolving his ED issues, get his love life back into action with things looking up.