Surely your friends and family will be supportive cheering you on in your weight loss efforts every step of the way, right?  For some people that is true, but for others, these supposedly supportive individuals may actually be doing things sabotaging your weight loss goals.  If may not necessarily be intentional, but there are subtle hints that they really kind of like you as already you are.  There could be underlying currents of jealously, worry over the fact you may change in personality, or maybe they would like to lose weight themselves but lack motivation to do so wishing you would get off this weight loss kick.

Whatever their reasoning for undermining your weight loss efforts, here are ways to recognize it and what to do about it:

·“I love you just the way you are”

It’s always nice to know people accept you as you are but it could be because they themselves have not been successful at weight loss.  They may be trying to protect you from their past failures or the feeling of despair.  Or they could be concerned that if you do lose weight you’ll force your healthy eating habits on them making them feel guilty.

What to do:  Reassure them that you will not change but to see this as a positive transformation – you’ll become healthier, happier and it is something you want to do.  If the friend or family member needs to lose weight themselves, encourage them to buddy up with you working together as a team.

·When you get together, it’s all about the food

Whenever you spend time together, food is present.  Nothing wrong with that but it’s the kind of food that can make it hard for you to resist – brownies, cookies, ice cream, chips as examples.  Or they will suggest “let’s go eat ribs” or “go ahead and have that dessert – you deserve to live a little!”  If it happens every great once in a while, it probably is not a problem. But when it happens frequently, they are likely taking delight in watching you fall off the dieting wagon. 

What to do:  Make your own suggestions on where to eat or bring your own healthy snack options to a party or get-together.  Make a beautifully laid out plate of veggies and fruit with hummus, or bring fruit skewers with yogurt dip or homemade protein balls. Another option is to shift the focus of gatherings away from food and instead suggest going on a hike or bicycle ride together. 

·They don’t believe you can lose weight

This one can hurt as it shows your friends or family lack little faith or belief in your efforts to reach a healthier weight.  You have to ask yourself, why would that be?  These may be the same people who bring up past failed weight loss efforts or who make fun of you for wanting to look fit and healthy.  Realize you may be dealing with a food bully.

What to do:  This is the time not to be a people pleaser.  This is your life and your right to make decisions on making healthy lifestyle changes.  Make it clear to them that you are serious about reaching a healthier body weight and ask them to either support you or keep their comments to themselves.

·They encourage you to “cheat”

These are the ones who say “but you are always so good – go ahead an d have some more.”  This is blatant undermining and is meant to make you feel like your healthy eating habits are rigid and boring. 

What to do:  Stay your ground. Remember, caving in to guilt can cost you in terms of extra calories that make it that much harder to lose weight.  Show them that healthy foods are far from boring when you share with them a healthy treat they may never have tried.  Show them your serious about losing weight and when it happens (and it can and will), they’ll want to know how you did it.