The ancient Egyptians believed, as do we modern Americans, that white teeth are a sign of beauty. Arguably a tad more hardcore than we are, the pharaohs achieved their dental ideal by rubbing a mixture of pumice stone and white wine vinegar on their chops. The Romans, never ones to be out-macho'd by the Egyptians when it came to extreme grooming, used stale urine to bleach their teeth.

If your own views on whiter teeth place yourself somewhere north of merely brushing with toothpaste three times a day but not quite ready for pumice and urine, we've got a few home-brew treatments that'll have you grinning like Joe Biden in no time.

Brush with baking soda and hydrogen peroxide. These worked for your grandma, and they'll work just as well for you. Mix a small amount of hydrogen peroxide with a small amount of baking soda into a paste. The paste should not be gritty at all, and in fact it should be a runnier paste than a stiff paste. Then, brush your teeth as usual. In addition to its whitening properties, hydrogen peroxide is an anti-bacterial agent and works great as a total mouth and gum cleaner to keep your mouth free of germs. Mind the proportions and mix it well, as baking soda can very well scrub the enamel right off your teeth.

Slosh some coconut oil around in your mouth. The process is known as “oil pulling,” and it's not for anyone in a hurry. The procedure calls for you to swish with a tablespoon of coconut oil for 10 to 20 minutes each morning (Don't swallow the oil!). When done, rinse with salt water. A mainstay of Ayurvedic medicine, the coconut oil pulling process will not only whiten your teeth, it's great for your gums and will detoxify your mouth, kill bad breath, fight bacteria, and help to boost your immune system.

In addition to being a super-food, apple cider vinegar is also a super tooth-whitener. It's also a super acidic tooth enamel stripper as well, so don't over do it. But after a month of swishing around a mouthful of AVC every morning, you'll look like you had your teeth professionally cleaned. Just be certain to brush with old-fashioned toothpaste after each session.